Our generation tends to be a stubborn group nowadays dont we? Its not hard to look around and see how we like to fight and stand firm for the things we want. We dont like to give up. We dont like to opinion things as out of our reach, even if they so clearly are miles from our fingertips. So we try to be flexible. We come up with new methods and semi-solutions to bring us a little closer to what we want.
We tend to do this the most when it comes to our relationships .
Its easy to notice that weve created different types of labels to fit out needs. We have one-night stands and hookups; we have casual relationships and serious relationships. We have effortlessly come up with new names for different categories based on our interests and desires- and in some manner maybe this is perceived as easier. I entail, how are you able communicate what you want to someone if you dont have some kind of name for it, right? When you know exactly what you want, its necessary to clearly construct that known to the person you have your eye on so you can avoid any confusion.
But what about when what you want and what they want doesnt watch eye-to-eyebut you want them
You start compromising. You start determining for the gray and complicated minefield of nearly. You dont fit into the molds that youve come up with. Youre not a one-night moment, or a few hookups and followed by a full-fledged disappearing act. Youre also nowhere close to anything serious, despite how you might have occur moments that feel like they belong in that context- merely to question the next day what you guys are or why they dismiss you for days in a row.
Almost is just another term for uncertain, and almost is never as close as you think it is.
I know it seems like almost is better than nothing because it feels so close. You maintain a tally mark on how many great days you have, and you dissect the meanings and conversations with you friends. You constantly re-read the sweet text and replay those romantic moments in your intellect over and over again, because this is the part that you crave. You try to ignore the days when you consider a message from someone else popping up on their phonewhere you bite your tongue because youre not exclusiveor the days that they feel cold and distant, devoting no explanation to their sudden change. You continue to hold a death grip on the good times and say it is better than nothing.
Its tempting to believe that some perfect moments in the middle of radio stillnes and miscommunication is better than nothing; but it honestly isnt, even if it seems that style . Every single day youre wearing your heart down because all you want is to have them hold you and tell you that youre exactly what they want, but they never can seem to reach the same place youre striving to be. They are always going to be looking back at all the options; they are going to cling to the idea that they would rather hold dozens of fictions and possibilities in their arms rather than simply simply you.
Almost is never good enough because its a silent narrative saying, are never good enough.
Its a consistent reminder that you are only as good as what you devote when you are with them, but you are not worth more than a few fleeting memories that will fade all too soon. Its a reminder that you may be wonderful, but that some people simply want something different. Regardless of how much you compromise, some people arent going to compromise for you- they dont have to when youre the one doing all the reaching and taking all the steps back into a middle ground that doesnt benefit either of you.
Because you are not a casual-only type of person, and they arent in search of a serious relationship. And to pretend that either of you is okay with calling one another nearlies and viewing each other as pawns that merely have to move a few spaces over before one of you converts to the others whole-hearted longing can only be described as painfully unfair.
Even if you feel like youre merely a few steps away from something real, in reality, any number of steps away is too far . Because what you deserve is someone who is on the same page as you, and can give you fully what you want without restraint and reluctance. Let me tell you that if something serious and something real is what you long for, then you need to stop holding onto this almost person and allow yourself a chance to find what is going to make you full happy.
Because you deserve more than to be almost happy. Virtually in a relationship. Almost in love. You deserve to have all of those things, to the fullest extent of your heart.
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