Im Done Lying To Myself To Keep You In My Life

Twenty2 0/ @criene

Let me tell you about my lies 😛 TAGEND

I lied when I told you that I was penalty. The truth is I screamed myself to sleep the night before because I miss you.

I lied when I told you that all I required was closure . . All I required was a different answer than the one I got.

I lied when I told you we could be friends. I was just trying to be mature. I was just trying to find a way not to lose you .

I lied when I told you that I’m not mad at you. Because Im still hurt. Watching you hurts. Knowing that youre with someone else hurts. Knowing that you let me run hurts.

I lied when I told you we should set the past behind us and start over. I just wanted to be in your life. I just wanted to find my route back to your heart.

I lied when I told you I understood you.I think youre full of excuses. I think we could have made this work. I think you gave up too soon.

I lied when I told you Im over it. It fizzled out. Its better than good. The ache still hurts like it was yesterday. I’m still confused. I’m still trying to accept the fact that you’re no longer in my life.

I lie because my honesty pushed you away. I lie because I cant be honest with myself. I lie because I cant handle any more tears when I remember the truth.

But the more I lie to you, the more I lie to myself and I can’t lie to myself anymore. I don’t want to be the girl who assure the truth and chooses to believe the lies .

I lied when I told you that you’ll alway be in my life. The truth is, I’m done keeping the people who broke my heart in my life. I’m done holding on to the possibilityof us getting back together .

I can’t pretend that you didn’t fool me. I can’t be another buffoon for you.

I lied to you before, but now I’m going to be honest with you and tell you the truth:

Rania Naim is a poet and writer of the new book, available here.

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com