Youve spent so much hour with your head interred, still caught up in that last relationship, still aching over your past breakup, still missing him or her or what the two of “youve had”. Youve spent so many days with your soul running on empty, trying to fill yourself with anything and everything that could temporarily distract you, trying so desperately to cover the holes the last person left.
Youve expended so many nights screaming yourself to sleep, wondering where the hell you went wrong, feeling sorry, feeling defeated, feeling unworthy, and convincing yourself that you dont deserve love or that you wont find it or that’ the one’ for you simply doesn’t exist.
But those are lies.
See, the world has a funny route of showing us what we need and what we dont, what were supposed to have and what we should let go of, whats good for us and what is only violating us, bit by bit. Yet we dont always believe or listen. We think we know what we should be doing; we trust that we have all the answers.
But the truth is, were human and flawed. And sometimes we love the incorrect people, open our hearts to someone who leaves, permit ourselves to be vulnerable, and then emptied when a relationship runs south.
And sometimes we get hurt. Hurt so so deeply.
Then we convince ourselves that were somehow less, somehow incorrect or incapable or deserving of the negative cards life has handed us. We convince ourselves that what fell apart was our fault, and that were never going to savor the sweet freedom of real love ever again.
But you will.
It may be months or years or eons down the road. It may be in a hour or place you dont expect, or with a person youve been comfy with for ages. It may arrive slowly, finely. Or it may come as a total amaze, slapping you in the face with the startling realization that youve finally found your special person. It may arrive when youre young, old, or somewhere in-between.
It may arrive when youve decided to finally believe in deeper connects, or it may arrive when youre not quite ready to let someone in.
I know youve closed off your heart, told yourself you wont fall again. I know youve pushed people away, wanting to be on your own. I know youve wanted to mend and fallen short, time and time again, feeling more and more empty every single day. I know youre nervousof being vulnerable, of caring so much and then being left, of getting hurt.
I know youve turned a cold shoulder to love and relationships, believing that you are just one of those people who is meant to be single for life, capable and content in your own skin.
But in the back of your mind, youve been longing for love. Under the surface, youve been itching to get close to someone again. And as much as you try to ignore those impressions, at the end of the day, in the moments before you fall asleep, you hope that one day you wont feel so alone.
Someday, love will find you. It will creep upon you and ooze into your bones. It will fill your emptiness and overflow all the spaces inside and around you. It will stimulate your heart lighter, your lungs fuller, your eyes brighter. It will surprise you and scare you and suddenly change your every doubt into security.
It will be everything you didnt know you needed, and everything youve desired for so long. It will be all that you waited for, prayed over, wished upon late at night.
But you must be patient, believe, trust, know that you deserve to be loved, and have confidence that the right person will find you. You have to work on yourself, pursue your goals, construct yourself and be open to what lies ahead, whatever relationships and connections who are likely be.
You must stop letting negativity and bitterness to control you, to determine your fate, and instead let yourself be unhindered and unburdened. You must realize that you are so incredible, and so worthy of a eternally love. And one day, you are able to look back, arm-in-arm with the one youve devoted your heart to, in awe at your past incredulity.
Marisa Donnelly is a poet and writer of the book,, available here.
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