Yes, I am fat. I am also a novelist, so lets write about it.
I will never be close to the beauty standards of these days and that is fine. I’ve never been the prettiest and I do not care. So, here’s a first: I am obese.
Since my extreme weight gain I am now officially a fat girl. I’ve been trying to figure out a healthier lifestyle but it’s hard.
I am an emotional eater and yes, I am very emotional. We all have been through bad shit and trauma’s and we all deal with those things differently.
I was in a very bad place and gaining weight was my merely way out. You don’t have to understand this, or me. But eventually food became an escape from reality, like the way other people grab to narcotics, alcohol or use sex as a distraction I started to eat, and until today it’s a haunting pattern. I gained weight and haven’t lost any. Big fucking bargain!
Sure I am fully aware that there are those luck people with healthier and wiser ways of dealing with how they feel. Congratulations, this doesn’t mean though, that you are better than anyone else.
So why am I writing this? Not because I want you to feel sorry for me, this is not about my disgust about fat dishonor , nor do I believe find obesity as some kind of new criterion is a good thing. But what I do believe is that everyone should mind their own business. I am tired of all the people who induce my weight gain and my fat body their concern and feel the necessity to tell me how to feeling, act or dress or what to change.
I don’t want to walk the street afraid of people’s reactions when they see me strolling sleeveless, or in a dress. I won’t conceal myself until I’ve reached my aim just so you don’t have to feel annoyed or disgusted .
If that’s what my presence does to you I indicate you better appear the other route or stab your eyes out, perhaps you should run before I infect you with cellulite or maybe you should keep the focus on your own insecurities instead of growing mine. Whatever it is that you do, don’t build your feeling about how I seem my problem and I promise you I won’t construct my fat body yours.
I’ve heard all these things so many times that I am tired of hearing them over again and again. You don’t have to tell me I need to be fitter if I want to be a scuba teacher. I am fully aware, I dare you to out-swim me though. Don’t tell me I am too fat to stand behind a bar, as far as I know there hasn’t yet been a law based on the physics of a bartender and are you able please stop making animal sounds when I am passing by, fat never changed me from human into animal kind, only the full moon does that to me.
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