Ive heard that saying in countless kinds and formats. I’ve been told that my age and my sum of givable fucks are inversely related my ability to give a fuck shrink as the years go on until I totally run out of said fuckings to give.
( And, according to the people who love that proverb, that’s when I’ll find true liberty .)
Dont get me wrong: I love when no fuckings are given. I love when some true bullshit is laid out before me and I can proudly proclaim, And on the working day, I merely couldnt give a fuck. Dedicating a fucking about every little thing is depleting, spirit-draining, and unnecessary.
But that doesnt mean Ive run out of fucks to devote .
The thing is, I have plenty of fuckings to give. My beaker of fuckings runneth over. I care deeply and passionately and sometimes all-consumingly.The things I give a fuck about can quickly and easily become the epicenter of my world.
There are times when I can shock myself with how many fucks I actually give .
That hasn’t changed as Ive gotten older. The intensity of my feelings hasn’t cooled the quantity of fucks have yet to decrease. But I’m quicker to see what is actually important versus what is not worth my energy. Im quicker to recognize what is a true issue and what is true bullshit. With each bit of additional life experience, I am better able to discern between what carries weight and what is a waste of my time.
So it’s not that, the older I get, the fewer fucks I have to give. I have just become more intelligent about how I give them out .
Laugh lines? No fuckings given there.The latest styles? I canceled my shipment of fucks for that one. What I am or am not supposed to do at my age? Yup, looks like there’s an embargo on fuckings for that territory. Worrying about whether or not my hair is perfect and my makeup is just right? Oooh you guessed it. I’m like Seinfield’s Soup Nazi, only in this situation it’s
I have not run out of fucks to devote. I haven’t even lessened my quota o’ fuckings. I simply find that I have them better under lock and key , not letting them slip out to everything that traverses my path. I’m better able to detect when something is about to steal my fucks and I’m quicker to step in and say,” Sorry, but I just won’t give a fuck about that .”
And the beautiful thing is , now that I have better power to direct those fuckings, the things I give a fuck about are more intently and intensely devoted to. I’m not spreading myself thin, giving a fuck about every little thing. I’m saving those fuckings up for afterward, for when I want to dive into deep water and care greatly.
I dont “re going to have to” budget my fucks. I can go to township when its time to actually give a fuck about something. I can pull out the AmEx Black Card of fuck-giving and clear out the store.
If you ask me, this is where the true liberty lies. Not in not dedicating a fuck, but being able to appropriately give a fuck and devote greatly a fucking when appropriate.
Recognize what is worth giving a fucking about. And then devote generously with those fucks with the knowledge that you haven’t squanderedthem on something meaningless.
Know that, when you give a fuck, its not because youve run out of them, but because you intentionally decided to keep them for yourself.
Because, fucking: I don’t ever want to be in a place where I’ve run out of fucks to give.That would be fucking terrible.
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