Stop telling your friend that she needs to settle or lower her standards so she could find someone.
Stop telling your friend to allow inexcusable excuses.
Stop telling your friend that its okay if shes not a priority or if someone is not treating her right because he merely doesnt well known well enough.
Because these standards stem from her values and her values shouldnt change for anyone .
Her criteria are a reflection of what she truly believes in, who she really is and what she believes she deserves and even if you think they’re unreasonable or ridiculous or they’re going to keep her single eternally, there will be someonewho is willing to meet her standards. There will be someone who doesnt think theyre too high because his criteria are just as high .
The problem with modern dating is that it has induced so many women okay with behaviour they secretly despise — and because its easier to join the crowd then turn the other way, women have lowered their standards and started being okay with things they previously considered But there are still a few of us who hold these high standards, who cherish these standards and wont let any dating culture change that.
So stop telling your friend that its okay if hes taking days to respond to her when he’s active onInstagram.
Stop telling your friend its okay if he’s not thinking about her because hes busy with other things.
Stop telling your friend that its okay that he hasnt asked her out yet because hes likely dating other people and will reach out when hes ready.
Stop telling your friend to blow up his snapchat because its more fun than texting and having an actual conversation.
Stop telling your friend that her standards are whats maintaining her from finding someone because shed rather remain single than satisfy someone who cant give her half of what shes asking for .
People with high standards are the ones who are always waiting while everybody else moves from one boyfriend to another, but thats exactly why they wait, they cant stand short-term flings or casual relationships, they cant stand connects that are temporary, they cant stand giving their hearts to someone who is more likely to break it.
Stop telling your friend that waiting is not going to get her anywhere or that shell always be waiting.
She’s waiting for someone who truly cares, someone who indicates it, someone who says it, someone who understands her standards and tries to meet them and shes waiting for someone who values what she values and appreciates who she really is.
She’s looking for something long-term, something real and shes looking for someone whos worth the wait.
So stop telling her to change. Stop telling her that she needs to be more cold or flexible. Stop telling her to become person shes not to impress a human whos never going to love her the style she wants to be loved anyway.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new volume, available here.
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