I get it.
Ive been there.
You think it must be you because he started dating someone else right after he told you he wasnt ready.
You think it must be you because it happens to you to repeatedly, from different men and they cant all be that bad.
You think it must be you because you keep pushing them away, into the arms of other women.
You think it must be you because they never resurfaced, they never came back and they never apologized for letting you go.
You think it must be you because of all of your unresolved childhood issues, you think its because you still have a lot of things to work on and a lot of things to fix. You think maybe youre
You think it must be you because you want love so much and every time you try to ask for it, you get denied. Every time you think its real, it fools you.
You think its you because maybe on a deeper level, you stopped expressed his belief that you deserve it. Maybe on a deeper level, you dont believe that you will find it and you keep falling for those who demonstrate you
Im not going to tell you that you are perfect, thats its definitely them not you and Im not going to tell you that youre better than them but I am going to tell you that even if youre the problem, someone who really wants you will not run away .
Someone that actually wants you will try to understand where the problem is coming from, he will try to find answers — maybe a solution.
He will try to listen before he shuts off, he will try to talk to you before he stops responding to your messages, he will try to spend more time with you before he decides he doesnt want to see you anymore. He will try before dedicates up. He should at least
I know youre too hard on yourself, but you also find people who are harder on you. You find people who build you feel like your problems are insoluble.
But even if you are the problem, even if you dont always tell or do the right things, it shouldnt be a deal-breaker, it shouldnt has become a reason for someone to stop trying. We all have problems were still trying to solve but we dont require someone who wants us with no luggage and no problems, we dont need someone who takes the easy out .
We need someone who helps us face our problems, a person who had helps us unload our baggage and loves even the most incomplete parts of who we are.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new volume, available here.
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