It’s not about determining a person who had stimulates love easy, who falls into rhythm with you, whose hands feel perfect in yours, who comes into your life and suddenly everything induces sense. It’s not about detecting a person who had always loves you just right, who never tells or does anything wrong, who cares for you unconditionally, without a single doubt. It’s not about determining a person who had never makes you question, or get frustrated, or wonder. Because that’s not love, that’s a fairytale.
The reality of love is messy, is complicated, is raw. There are moments when you don’t fit quite right, when you don’t insure eye-to-eye, when you doubt or have trouble trusting or want nothing to do with one another and retreat to opposite corners of the room. The reality of love is that you will fall for an imperfect person, one who will let you down and perhaps hurt your heart at times. The reality of love is that no one will love you fully and without faulting, but they will You will both try.
See, it’s really not about detecting a perfect person who constructs love’ easy’ because love isn’t meant to be easy.
Love is challenging. It’s two different people coming together and trying to agree on the same things, trying to tie their lives and perspectives together, trying to bend and make compromises and understand what the other is thinking, even when it’s hard. It’s preferring person even when they let you down, even when you’ve been conditioned to walk away, even when the rest of the world is falling in and out of these temporary commitments, even when the practical option would be to simply let go.
Love is fighting. Opposing when you don’t concur. Fighting when you’re mad. Fighting when you want to walk away, and yet you still keep coming back. Opposing for one another, to be stronger than the day before.
Love is chaotic. It’s relearning who you are alongside someone else. It’s losing pieces and find pieces of yourself in the arms of another person. It’s growing and changing and accepting that you are able to never be the same two people, individual or together, and that’s what stimulates love so wonderful.
Love is knowing that you will grow and change and that this process is so hard, but so rewarding in the end.
Love is not searching for a flawless person, but embracing your mess, another’s mess, and the beautiful mess you can stimulate together.
We think that we’re supposed to find a’ perfect’ person, that we’re supposed to fall in this’ happily-ever-after’ love that never lets us topic or doubt. We think that one day we’ll shall be divided into love and it will be everything we ever asked for. And in some ways it will, but that doesn’t entail it’ll be
Yes, we’ll find love. Yes, it will be incredible and totally rock our world. Yes, it will show us what we’ve been missing and searching for all this time.
It will be learning to love someone who is just as frustrate and stubborn and selfish as we are. It will be accepting them for who they are, pushing to become better together, and finding ways to love each other, even when the world get complicated.
Love isn’t meant to be simple. People aren’t meant to be easy. We’re supposed to have both problems and obstacles and moments of discovery–because this is the purpose of life–to be forever growing. And when we discover someone to grow we have to remember that it’s not about having this fairytale connection.
It’s about discovering something real.
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