You shouldnt be a second choice. You shouldnt be a replacement. You shouldnt be what someone settles for when theyre running out of options.
You shouldnt be a plan B. You shouldnt be someones maybe. You shouldnt be the person someone reaches out to only when theyre lonely or only when they want attention.
You shouldnt be a temporary solution. You shouldnt try to convince someone to give you a chance or text you or call you. You shouldnt let anyone make you feel like you have to work too hard for the simplest things.
You should be someones first choice. You should be someones plan A. You should be someones instead of one foot in and foot out.
You shouldnt put a discount on yourself just because you dont know your worth and you shouldnt be okay with something just because everyone else seems to be okay with it.
It doesnt put a smile on your face when youre always initiating conversations and getting cold responses. It doesnt put a smile on your face when youre always wondering if that person is talking to someone else or if they care or if they even think about you. It doesnt put a smile on your face when you always feel forgotten or invisible. It doesnt put a smile on your face when you keep giving and not getting anything in return.
And you deserve to smile. You deserve to be remembered. You deserve someone who keeps reassuring you that you matter, that they want to choose you. You deserve someone who doesnt make you feel like youre in a competition.
I know modern dating has made these things sound so outdated, idealistic or extinct, but I’m here to tell you that . Because I’ve seen it happen, and I know people who still believe in romance, loyalty, monogamy, and commitment. I know people who outgrew playing games and wanting attention and favoring quantity over quality.
I know people who realized that they want the real deal. They want a forever person. They want true love and theyre willing to do whatever it takes to find it and if youre one of those people, then you should just stop falling for the ones who only think of you as a temporary solution.
Stop falling for the unavailable hearts that only want you when theyre broken. Stop giving chances to those who cant even give you one. Stop falling for the ones who make you cry.
Because you shouldn’t sell yourself short just because someone doesn’t understand how you really are. You shouldn’t stop cherishing yourself just because someone else doesn’t know how to cherish you.
Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book , available here.
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