I Will Choose You

Becca Tapert

Even on the days when you are tired and worn, when you can scarcely lift your head from the pillow, when you roll over, a groan escaping your lips. Even on the mornings when you curse the bathroom mirror, when you shrug on your clothes in the dark, when you brew your morning coffee and sip it slowly with the suns off. Still, I will choose you.

I will rise from bed and cross that kitchen floor. I will wrap my arms around your tired body and lean my forehead against your chest. I will breathe deeply and slowly, praying for you, willing all my love to follow you wherever you go.

I will choose you, even when a smile is far from your face, even when you are angry and bitter. Still, I will smile, and kiss your cheek and tell you I love you. Still, I will go back to sleep, even just for an hour, dreaming of your hand in mine. Still, I will choose you .

Even on the working day when you do not choose yourself, on the nights when your hair is a mess and your posture is slumped. Even when you smell like stale beer, or complain far too much, or shriek at the t.v ., or tell me that you simply want to be alone. Still, I will choose you.

I will let you have your space and take mine willingly. I will care about you, near and far, and supporting you in whatever route I can. I will use my terms, my heart to build you up when you are broken. I will never let you fighting alone.

I will choose you, even when you do not think you’re capable of being the man I know you are. When you doubt, still I will stand beside you, encouraging and opposing and believing. Still, I will love you, even on your darkest days. Still, I will choose you .

Even when we don’t agree, even when our voices raise, even when we argue and I want, so desperately, to running. Even on the nights I pull away from you, scoot closer to the opposite side of the bed, traverse my limbs and withhold forgiveness, even though I know that’s not right. Still, I will choose you.

I will love you , no matter the anger I feel. I will care, even if my heart seems far away. Though it might take time with my stubbornness, I will eventually roll back to your side of the pillow, curl myself up in your arms.

I will choose you, even when you build me mad. My love for you won’t fade simply because we are angry. I know we will fight, we will be frustrated, we will be human. Still, I will go to combat for you. Still, I will choose you .

On the best days, on the worst nights. In the instances we nearly forget how beautiful our connect is. Even when there are other options, even when possibilities knock on my door, even when I feel an inkling to leave and find myself with someone else. Still, I will choose you.

I will keep our bonds, our promises. I will remind myself of the very best, even if we’re lost in the bad. I will reach for you when you feel far away. I will speak, and not let my feelings go unsaid.

I will choose you, even in the doubt. Even in the moments we both hesitate, wondering whether this is love. I will accept that we are flawed and imperfect, and still I will love you anyway. No matter what this world hurls at us, you will eternally be mine. Still, I will choose you .

And maintain choose you, every single day.

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