( March 21 st- April 19 th )
Boy Crazy Taylor
You’re literally the Taylor Swift from Blank Space that kidnaps men and forces them to date her. Oh, they don’t love you back? Bitch, they better learn to. You’re in a constant cycle of broken off and making up, and once one relationship accidents and burns, you’re not quick to let go. You may be a hopeless romantic, but you’re not the various kinds of daughter to intersect — there’s a reason they say you’re insane. But don’t worry, you’ll eventually move on to the next one.
( April 20 th- May 20 th )
Money Hungry Taylor
Face it, you like the finer things in life. You crave comfort, luxury, and merely the right amount of money to get you want you want. I entail, why else would you take all your songs off Spotify for years, right? Right ?!?! Let’s just say that if it were up to you, you’d spend every day bathing in a tub full of pearls and counting every penny you own.
( May 21 st- June 20 th )
Taylor the Snake
By now, it’s no surprise to anyone you’re a little two-faced. You’ll be someone’s best friend one minute and their worst enemy the next. Your relationship with people is a lot like Taylor’s relationship with Kanye — they were foes, then friends, then enemies again. You’re not afraid to do what you have to to get the upper hand( and the publicity that goes with it ). No wonder Kim K. detests you so much( and likes to subtweet about you using lots of snake emojis ).
( June 21 st- July 22 nd )
Cat Lady Taylor
You are just so cutesy and pure and wholesome. You like big sweaters, tea, and lots and lots of cats. Maybe more than men. Likely more than men. Severely, they’re all over your Insta and Snaps and you’d much instead expend the day hugging with them inside than going out and dealing with the outside world and its non-cat people. Some people might think you’re a little crazy, but don’t let them get you down. It’s all love, happiness, and sweaters with cats knitted onto them.
( July 23 rd- August 22 nd )
Drama Queen Taylor
Face you — you the drama at the attention that comes with it. All that Kanye shit? It you. That Katy Perry beef? Please, you need a round two. You induce music videos like “Bad Blood” only to keep the flames running and then act personally victimized when someone calls you out on it. Hey, it may not be the best reputation in the world, but it maintains you in the spotlight, and that’s where you want to stay.
( August 23 rd- September 22 nd )
Sweet, Teardrops On My Guitar-era Taylor
Some people have already forgot about you, but not me. You’re cute and can play guitar and manage to get your hair to curl in ways most people can only imagine being able to do. Also, you have a tendency to wear fairytale garments like an actual princess. You’ve get this weird country vibe going on, but mostly we just love you because you remind us of what it’s like to experience everything for the first time — love, sorrow, whatever it may be. You’re a little green, but you’re definitely one to improve with time.
( September 23 rd- October 22 nd )
“Girl Next Door” Taylor
You’re merely the cute, nerdy neighbor who isn’t like the other girls. Sure, you are not able to be pretty or popular, but you make up for it in heart, brains, and presumably some sort of personality. It just isn’t fair that your lifetime crush aims up with the terrible Queen Bee, and you’re going to be sure to remind everyone of that constantly. You’re the various kinds of girl to spend your entire evening peering into your hot neighbor’s window, daydreaming about when you’ll be together and quickly pretending you’re just reading a volume every time he catches you.
( October 23 rd- November 21 st )
The New Taylor
You’re dark and tend to construct people a little uncomfortable. Congrats! You’re the new Taylor Swift. You’re not about playing games or pretending to be something you’re not. You’re “re ready for” the world to see you for precisely who you are inside, even if that entails releasing a three-minute-and-3 0-second retaliation track, returning as a zombie in your newest video, and creating an entire album deconstructing the reputation you’ve been building your entire life. You’re probably going to make it to the top of the charts, and you don’t plan on going anywhere.
( November 22 nd- December 21 st )
” I’d Very Much Like To Be Excluded From This Narrative” Taylor
We get it, you’re over people’s bullshit. You’re tired of being pulled into drama “youve never” asked for and you’d really rather people just leave you alone. It’s you may have fed into it a little bit, but now that the situation is heating up and everyone’s looking at you for the next move, you’re over it. People keep trying to put you down, but you only want to live your life and be your authentic ego. Can we all simply move on now?( Answer: likely not .)
( December 22 nd- January 19 th )
Squad Leader Swift
You aren’t merely part of the squad — you the squad. You’re a natural networker, and because of it you’ve formed a tight-knit group of loyal followers who are sure to post flame selfies with you so everyone knows they follow you and you alone. You throw legendary parties and manage to sort alliances with only the best use of the best, giving you the extra street cred you need. Some people accuse you of doing this for your own gain, but hey, whatever.
( January 20 th- February 18 th )
You’re the version of Taylor that presumably locks herself in her room the working day strumming on her guitar and penning lyrics. You’ve got a deep-seated need to express yourself, and when we say express yourself, we entail express every single tiny facet of their own lives. That dude who transgressed your heart? He’s got a full chorus in your next sung, and you’re not afraid to sing it in front of him at Open Mic Night, staring him straight-out in the eye the entire hour. If something happens to you, the whole world will unavoidably know about it by the time you fell your next album.
( February 19 th- March 20 th )
The Victim( tm )
Let me guess: you feel victimized simply getting this answer, don’t you? But Pisces is well known for playing the martyr, so you can’t really be surprised. You come off as cute and sweet and innocent, but you’re definitely not afraid to play those cards to help you get the upper hand( and to keep your reputation squeaky clean — you care about how people see you ). You act like the whole world is against you, and okay, fine, maybe it kind of is.
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