After a disaster of a breakup, I blocked my ex on everything. I deleted the photos, I burned his hoodies, I did everything I could to build him fade into oblivion; but I couldn’t bring myself to block his number. It wasn’t that I wanted him back, I wanted him to want me back. I wanted him to miss me the style I missed what we once had, what he ruined. I wanted to know I was on his mind the way he devoured my believes. I wanted him to realize he lost someone who would have given him the world.
But, more than anything, I wanted him to want me back just so I could say NO .
During the self-loathing period of my breakup I couldn’t leave the couch. My heart physically hurt, like I legit guessed I was going into cardiac arrest( someone call Dr. McDreamy, please ). I called in sick for work, I refused to see my friends, and I put myself into a heartbreak coma. All I could do was binge watch on Netflix and feast on tub of Ben and Jerry’s.
My telephone never left my side and every time it rang I would get a mini panic attack hoping it was him, but it never was. That’s what dating a controlling person does to you, he would check up on me constantly that when he went radio silent I felt lost.
He was like a remote control, any button he clicked I devoted an immediate answer. I stopped thinking about my own needs and focused on accommodating him or he would get upset. Being treated like a marionette is debilitating because you get so used to being on strings you lose your independence.
When I ultimately cut my strings and he lost control of me, he tried to control the style others viewed me. He spread a rumor about me to our friends to try and sway their opinion of who I was. He slandered my name so he could make it seem like I was the problem, and that us objective was my fault. This stimulated me want to hear from him even more. I wanted an explanation of how he could be so cold.
Days went by, then weeks, and then months; and slowly I felt better. I expended less period on the lounge and more day going out with my friends. I started say yes to all the things I couldn’t do when I was in a controlling relationship; and my post-fuckboy incandescence was coming in nicely. I started to become a better version of myself: happier, more confident, and I was moving on, and when my phone went off I stopped hoping it was him.
But then one time, it was .
In a relationship every girl hopes their human will say those three little words; but after a breakup you hope for a new define of words and it’s exactly what he gave me: “You were right.”
First of all, yes, thank you, I was right; but could that be a more vague statement? Before really processing his text, I screenshot it and sent it to the group chat to consider what the girls believed. After much deliberation, we came to the consensus: HELL NO.
So when you get the ex text you thought would never come, here is why you don’t react. I recur DO NOT text your ex back. Unless you received a novel worth of apologies or a phone call beg for forgiveness, he isn’t really sorry; he’s simply checking in.
A vague text is just another form of manipulation demonstrating he is just trying to string you along again. He wants you to question what he is saying just to get a replies from you as a confirmation that you still care about him. He waited weeks or months to finally communicate with you because with hour you mend, and he doesn’t want you to ever fully get over him.
Controllers like dependent and weak people because they can use you to induce themselves feel above you. Opportunities are he was having a bad day where his ego was a little lower than usual and he required a quick pick-me-up. He thought by telling you something you wanted to hear you would get you to run back to him…HAHA no.
Girl, you are too strong, too beautiful, and too smart to fall for that. Remember what he put you through and know you deserve so much more than that.
So, you need a touch of petty with your newfound self-worth? When your ex texts you( which he will, if he hasn’t already) turn your read receipts on and call it a day. Let him know you got the message, but you don’t need that kind of negativity in their own lives anymore .
Don’t waste your time entertaining his manipulation or coming up with a perfected reply. It’s your turn to have the control because it’s your option to give him exactly what he wants( don’t do it !) OR redefine your will power.
You got what you wanted and he messaged you , now actually block his number and enjoy the high you get from taking control of YOUR life back.
Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com