Where you once believed every excuse someone told you, every lie, every reason plans had to change or something couldn’t work up , now you look at someone who tells you every reason it can.
When it’s the real thing you aren’t paranoid or reasoning too much about saying the wrong thing or doing the incorrect thing. Almost relationships tend to thrive on your ego doubt. They make you think it’s you that’s done something wrong. It’s you who messed up. But when it’s the right relationship all the person cares about is building you feel sure of them.
Where you once thought it was your job to convince someone to fall for you as you overcompensated and tried every which way to get their attention this person teaches you it’s about who fulfill you halfway.
Almost relationships are all about the chase and making sure you get close but never close enough. Meanwhile this new person pulls you in and holds you tight saying something so simple like,’ I’m happy here.’
While these two relationships are almost completely opposite and you can’t even compare them but you still manage to.
When nearly relationships are all you know, what you’ve grown familiar with isn’t this healthy relationship but the opposite. Good relationships are the ones that feel like it doesn’t fit but in actuality it’s everything you deserve.
You deserve someone who answers.
You deserve someone who shows the fuck up.
You deserve someone who wants you as much as you wanted someone else.
And I know what it’s like to doubt them. I know what it’s like to be afraid. I know what it’s like to be comfortable alone you dread letting anyone in.
When you choose an virtually relationship you aren’t simply choice someone you are pinning after, you’re choosing an objective you know. And aiming you’re comfortable with. Wishful thinking and mixed signals build you want something to be there that isn’t. In your heart you know irrespective of how much you try you can’t persuade someone to care and be what you need.
There’s something weird and fun about these new challenges. And girls who are used to choosing the incorrect people at least have control in knowing they’ll get hurt so it won’t astound them. They grow amune to letdown and getting let down.
But pain and letdown and let down aren’t something you should get used to.
So when you stumble into the right relationship after so many that were wrong it’s like a breath of fresh air but it’s unfamiliar.
It’s abruptly having confidence in someone.
It’s abruptly including someone in your life.
It’s abruptly waking up next to someone and you remember how much it hurt waking up alone to a text wishing that person could have been something more.
It’s the kiss you used to think about simply hoping.
The relationship you envisioned in your mind.
Suddenly someone is stimulating it a reality.
Every first kiss. Every good morning. Every date. Every day they reach for your hand. Every hour they include you in future plans and you get thrown off for a moment. Every period they bring you somewhere introducing you as their girlfriend or their date not as their friend.
You think back to a time when a friend was all you were to someone you cared deep for.
Every time they touch you and tremble in a manner that is you didn’t even realize you could.
When this person so easily becomes a part of your daily routine and life.
When they want to meet your family and friends.
When they want you in their big moments.
You think back to a time where you used to wishful think about an nearly love being all of those things and doing all those things.
But after a while you stopped asking because all it led to was another reason pointing at irrespective of how you feel this will never be what you need.
And I’d tell lies if I said that virtually love doesn’t simply vanish because you discovered person you deserve. Feelings linger. And that’s okay. Perhaps they couldn’t be what you needed but emotionally they were everything you wanted.
Even when you’re going to bed with someone else “youre thinking about” them.
It’s okay to be considered them.
But you have to understand the difference between that person and this real relationship where you are feeling things you forget you could.
Loving you the route you loved him.
Trying the way you tried for him.
It’s okay to feel guilty sometimes for impressions you can’t control. But I truly believe that after a limbo relationship of giving them your all and they couldn’t reciprocate it, something good will come your way if you learn to let them go.
The greatest sort of heartbreak isn’t pining after an almost love but wasting your time on someone when in your heart you know it will never be what you need and deserve. There is not amount of period or endeavour that can change that. Because when it’s the right person they will walk into their own lives very quickly and you’ll know this is different. This is right. This is what I deserve.
Understanding your worth and your value isn’t a reflection of the love someone couldn’t devote but rather their inability to see what you had to offer.
Suddenly you intersect tracks with someone who does. And you’re fearful to fall but you let yourself. And certain differences is this time someone is going to catch you. Because this time someone is falling with you.
I wish I could say that nearly person is going to realize when you walk away what they lost. I wish I could tell you, he’s going to show up at your doorstep saying sorry. That would be nice.
But you deserve someone who doesn’t have to lose you to realize what they could have had.
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