I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked to someone who says their unhappy–with their undertaking, in their marriage/ relationship, with their current lifestyle, in their own body–it stimulates me ache. I suppose all of us have been there, will be there at some phase. Feeling like we don’t know who we are or where we belong. Feeling lost, or frustrated, or stuck.
But the thing about happiness, I’ve learned, is that it’s largely dependent upon your mindset. If you wake up every morning dreading what you have to do, carrying the luggage from the day before, dragging your feet–you’re not going to find reasons to celebrate. You’re going to wrap yourself up in a ball of misery, and reflect that misery to the people around you–a vicious cycle.
You’re not going to see joy because you’re simply not searching for it or focused on it.
Honestly, I guess happiness is found when you take steps back and decide to look at what’s rather than what you’re lacking. You’re never going to have a moment where everything is perfect, where all the people you care for love you back totally, where you aren’t opposing with anyone, where every single facet of your job and family and pastimes makes absolute sense and is at peace.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t still find exhilaration in those things .
That doesn’t mean you can’t choose to celebrate the little moments, the bless, the chaos and craziness of your existence, even if, and when, it’s a hot mess.
We complain about our lives, say they’ suck, ’ or they’re’ hard, ’ or’ not what I imagined, ’ or’ pointless.’ And perhaps, sometimes we are justified in those things; perhaps we’ve gone through the worst of times and are struggling–that shouldn’t be discredited.
But sometimes we have to question the lens we’re use to find the world. Are we only focused on the bad, the pain, the crap? Are we devoting negativity so much attention, that it has become our central and only way of thinking?
If you want to change your day-to-day, if you want to live a life that you’re proud of, that excites and inspires you, that feels, then you have to put in the work.
You can’t sit back and expect wonderful things to fall into your lap. You can’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder, expressed his belief that the world owes you something, simply because you’re here.
You can’t demand a promotion without dedicating the position your all. You can’t long for a connection with another person to grow without choosing to love them, and fighting for them when things get tough. You can’t think that by wishing something into being, it will be–even happiness. You have to actively search for exhilaration, actively focus on the positive, actively change your mindset if you want to be happy.
You have to make changes if you really want to see a difference. And those changes can only come from you .
If you’re tired of the same routine, shake it up. If you dislike your job, seek other options. If your relationship or wedding has fallen flat, ensure what you can do to change it, seek help, work on being a better communicator. If you’re dreading getting out of bed in the morning, investigate things that inspire you and take time each day to do those things before your regular activities.
This is life. You’re the one in control. You’re the one that can switching, or change, or mend, or rebuild it however “youre feeling”. If you’re not happy, do something about it.
The truth is, if you want something bad enough, you’ll pursue it–whether a dream, objective, person, idea, or nation of being–so don’t hold yourself back anymore. Your best life is, always has been, and always will be, within reach.
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