The easy portion is feeling butterflies. It’s being so exceedingly nervous every time you’re about to see them. It’s looking at your telephone waiting for them to text you that they’re outside, constructing two minutes feel like two hours. It’s getting that text and looking at yourself in the mirror before you walk out the door to make sure your skirt isn’t tucked into your underwear. It’s walking down the stairs to meet them and tripping over your own two feet because you’re so incredibly skittish that you don’t even have control over your own body.
The easy proportion is feeling absolutely wonderful when you’re with them. It’s seeing their face and having it instantaneously light up yours. It’s sitting across from them in a eatery and talking so much that you forget to eat. It’s smiling and giggling your route through the entire dinner.
The easy part is walking home together and holding hands. It’s wondering whether or not they’re going to kiss you, and hoping that they do .
The easy proportion is falling. The easy component is the beginning, when everything’s silly and light, new and exciting. The easy proportion is when the overwhelming elation of love overcomes the fear of it. It’s easy to fall in love, but how do you keep it?
How do you oppose that terrifying feeling that you’re going to mess it all up? How do you enjoy the feeling of falling when you’re simultaneously worrying about whether or not this will all end, that this incredible thing you’re experiencing won’t last?
And even when it does sustain, even when it lasts longer than you thought it ever would, how do you preserve it? How do you keep love alive when you’re blindly operating through it?
Because after you’ve fallen, after the easy proportion is over, the hard part is persuading someone to stay. How do you show them merely the parts of you that are worth loving? How do you conceal the proportions that aren’t?
The answer is you don’t. You don’t persuade. You don’t persuade. You don’t conceal. There’s no convincing needed in real love, and there’s no need to hide either. You don’t persuade someone to love you, they just do or they don’t.
And this is where you wonder what happens when they don’t?
The answer is you let them run. Because if you try to convince someone that you’re worth caring, it says that maybe you don’t believe it yourself .
Someone who really loves you will choose to stay, they won’t need convincing. And yes, that’s the hard part. That’s the part where heartbreak sometimes happens. Because you invest all this time into falling in love, and then once the falling is over, you realize maybe you’re not right for each other.
It’s hard to find the person who stays after you’ve already fallen, the person who stimulates you feel like you’re falling forever. And I know you think it’s nearly impossible to have that, and maybe it is. But you shouldn’t have to fight to keep love around. You shouldn’t try urgently to keep a love that isn’t meant for you simply because you’re afraid to be alone.
It’s hard to keep love, it’s hard to make it last and keep it healthy and growing, but not all love is meant to be kept. Some is meant to be let go.
And you can’t let the fear of heartbreak hold you back either. You can’t push love away because you don’t know how to sustain it. We’re all a little clueless when it comes to love. We’re all kind of only figuring it out along the way, and if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t a waste.
Yes, your heart might break, but heartbreak teaches us a lot about the person we were with that we couldn’t realize when we were with them, and it teaches us even more about ourselves.
Keeping love is hard, but simply try to enjoy everything it brings into your life while it’s around.
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