I Stopped Chasing After You Because It Became Embarrassing

Unsplash/ Timothy Barlin

I stopped texting you first. I stopped inviting you over. I stopped liking your selfies. I stopped following you on social media. I stopped trying to capture your attention.

It took me a while to give up on you, much longer than it should have, because I was stuck on the idea of you. I was persuaded we were going to become a couple.

At first, fighting for you felt like the right thing. I thought you would take all of the effort I was putting in as a compliment. I thought it would ultimately lead to us getting together.

Back then, I guessed real relationships took sacrifices. I didn’t realize how one-sided my feelings were. I thought I was to keep texting you, calling you, chasing you. I supposed the small amount of attention you gave me was worth bending over backwards for you.

But after a certain sum of period passed, trying to impress you stopped feeling romantic and started feeling pathetic.

I felt like an idiot every time I double texted you and still didn’t get a answer. Every time I came across a scene you posted with another daughter and had to pretend it didn’t bother me. Every day I forgave you for screwing me over, even though you never even gave me an apology.

I lowered my standards for you. I let you get away with murder, because I didn’t want to admit you were wrong for me. I didn’t want to search for someone else. I merely wanted you.

I kept telling myself that if I gave you enough time, you would change your mind about me. You would stop insuring me as and would decide to turn me into your girlfriend.

You took my kindness for granted, but instead of considering the red flags brandish in my face and realizing that I deserved better, it only induced me try harder. It merely constructed me want your attention more.

It was stupid of me to think you would develop stronger impressions for me after getting more text from me, after spending more period with me, after sleeping with me. It was stupid of me to suppose I had a chance with you.

Now that I can look back on what happened between us, I feel like an moronic for chasing when you are for so long when we clearly wanted different things. I wasted so much period on you that I could have expended with someone who loved me back.

I’m embarrassed by how much effort I put into you when you made it clear you weren’t interested in me from the start.

At least you taught me a lesson. In the future, I want someone who induces “i m feeling” appreciated for doing the same things I was embarrassed about doing with you. For texting twice in a row. For clearing my schedule. For scheming date nights. For thinking about forever.

I want someone who appreciates how significant efforts I’m willing to put into our relationship — and gives me the same amount in return.

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