Youll Find Love When You Stop Searching For It

John Schnobrich

I think it’s safe to say we all want connection. Maybe not in this exact moment. Maybe not as the most important point, crucial aspect of our lives. Maybe not before we find ourselves or what we’re genuinely passionate about. But at some phase on our journey, we long to intertwine our spirit with someone else, to trust, to let them in, to have a person to laugh with, share dreamings with, choose and grow with. We all want to find someone to believe in this crazy thing called love with.

But we mess up when we look so desperately for it. When we set our relations status as the center of our lives. When we expend all our time preoccupying over the couples around us, who we’re loving or loved by, where we fit.

We mess up when we build the search for a person take priority over the search for ourselves .

The thing about love, is that it’s a blessing–not a necessary component. We don’t love to be who we are, and yet, it’s one of the most beautiful things about being human. Where we go wrong, though, is when we suppose love is everything, when truly, love is all around us.

The problem, then, is not that we’re incapable of finding and maintaining love, but that we’re searching for it in the wrong places and stimulating it become our definition, instead of a piece of who we are.

When it comes to romantic love, the heartwarming truth is that this type of love comes to us when we release, relax, and let it happen.

When we stop searching for love, we find it. When we stop analyzing ourselves, changing every little thing, fretting over when we’ll discover’ the one’ or if we’ve fallen apart from them, we discover that love is natural–not forced.

When we discontinue thinking that we’re running out of period, we find joy in every moment. And the person we’re meant to be with and compliments that joy with his or her own.

We’re not going to find love if we’re continually emphasizing over it. If we’re discrediting our own hearts because of past relationships. If we’re reasoning we’re somehow less, simply because we haven’t detected’ forever’ as quick as the person or persons next to us .

Love isn’t something that bends to our rules. We can’t simply wish it to happen. We can’t expect it. We can’t prod, or poke, or push, or make it become exactly what we want it to be.

Love is beautiful as it happens, when it happens. And it happen. We just have to trust.

We have to trust fate, trust timing, trust God, trust the universe, trust the laws of attraction and how it will bring good things to us if we choose to believe.

But emphasizing yourself out about love? Constantly fretting over who your person is likely to be? Speaking words of unworthiness to your heart, simply because you haven’t discovered a significant other by a certain time? This is self-sabotage. And will do nothing to help you find the relationship you deserve.

One day love will find you. But you have to be patient. You have to be strong. You have to focus on all that you are, all that life has to offer beyond a partner, so that when you stumble into each other, you’ll both be the best versions of yourselves.

You have to stop searching so desperately for it.
And let it come.

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