4 Truths I Learned About Grief After Losing My Dad

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I’ll never “get over it” and that’s penalty. Death is not something you want to get over. It’s something you learn to live with.

1. You might be filled with regrets at first .

“Should I’ve spent more day with him? ” “Told him I loved him more often? ” “Spent less day with my friends so I could get to know him better? ”

Don’t be. Those unhappiness won’t change anything, they’ll only construct you feel worse. That day with your friends was important because your parent got to see you live and have fun. At least that’s what my mama said. He was happy to see me be happy. That’s what a mother wants.

2. You might feel like you should’ve to know him better .

It’s not always too late. Sure it won’t be the same as talking to him but you are able to get to know him. Talk to the people around you that knew him. You’ll discover different side of him that you would’ve ever known otherwise. You might even discover things that bring you closer to him this style. Last year I found out my father wanted to be an artist but didn’t follow his dreaming. My aunt proceeded to tell me how proud he’d be of me for working against everyone and following my dream.

3. Don’t feel guilty for living their own lives .

As crazy as it seems life goes on. Don’t feel guilty about your happiness. Sometimes you’ll be having the time of your life and something will remind you of him. Value those moments cause is when you’ll feel closer to him. It might be a random believe but that’s fine cause you’re thinking of him. Don’t feel guilty when a day passes by and you didn’t feel sad. You are not forgetting him, you are learning to live through the grief.

4. Grief never objective .

It’s like a curse that always keeps on giving. It can be turned back on for any random reason. It’s been eight years since I lost myself and a few nights ago I expended hours screaming because I reread some of our old emails. But you learn to live with it and to handle it. Reading these old emails didn’t transgress me, I screamed it out and continued with my life the next. You might even be lucky enough to find some friends who understand what you’re going through. Cherish these friends they’re your gem through this crazy thing called grief.

Always remember it’s okay to feel a lot of things. Just make sure to never forget to live your life even when you don’t want to. Because that’s what he’d want for you.

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