My life in sex: the 26-year-old escort

I earn 10 times more than the day rate in my normal job

For the past two years, I’ve been paid for sex. I was an intern barely surviving on minimum wages when another intern suggested I check out a website where you put in “arrangements” with wealthy men. The first few dates were nerve-racking but exciting- I have a high sex drive and am attracted to older men- and once I get comfy with asking for a figure up front, it started to come naturally.

As an bodyguard, I often earn 10 times more than the day rate in my normal chore. The nature of the website I use means that what I do sits between straight-up escorting and regular dating; I rarely merely have sex with these men. They’ll take me to dinner and we’ll talking here our lives, or we’ll see a cinema or do karaoke, before having sexuality. My accountant lists my job as alternative therapy, and that is pretty accurate. So often what these men truly need and want is someone to listen to them; the sexuality is just a vehicle to get to that.

While the financial objective keeps me doing this, I worry about the effect on my emotional health. I planned to quit if I met person I wanted to commit to, but the more I earn, the harder it is to do that. I haven’t even come close in so far and that can’t be a coincidence. I regularly have sex with guys who aren’t paying, but when I’m with them, I’ll often believe,” I could be constructing PS400 right now .” Separating work and play is hard. It’s also physically exhausting as I rarely devote myself a night off. I fret I’m starting to forget what genuine intimacy feels like, since I’m so good at simulating it, but feeling nothing.

* Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex @theguardian. com

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

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