What fathers do

Some fathers do these things.

Some parents go to the Columbus Public Library used volume marketing in about 1980 and buy five big boxes of books on every topic. They place those volumes in a playroom and they result in a consistently relevant personal library for his kids. Every year they learn something new out of that room.

Some parents take their sons and daughters to Computer Express, a small computer store, after taking you to Radio Shack and Sun TV and deciding the prices there are too high. Some parents help you decide on an Atari 800 XL with tape drive and they buy you River Raid to go with it.

Some parents buy you a modem and let you call BBSes all night.

They take you to Boy scout and help you win the local Pinewood Derby. They drive you to Bell Labs where you learn UNIX and shell scripting.

Some parents sit with you and type in programs out of the back of ANTIC Magazine.

They convince the family it wants a puppy and picks a special breed, a Kerry Blue Terrier, because it doesnt shed.

They get drunk at the Sheraton hotel bar happy hour and fall out of the car and turn you off alcohol until late in college. Thats when you really find you have a savour for it.

Some fathers help you with your science fair projects and explore wind power with you by making balsa wood models of various types of generators.

Some parents give you telephone wire, broken stereo, and a soldering iron and tell you to experiment. You do. Some fathers have a garage full of tools and show you how to cut timber and fix brakes and listen to NPR on a broken radio.

Some parents buy you a Packard Bell 286 and help you learn programming.

Some parents leave a basket of vinyl in the basement and in it you find Dylan, the Stones, and Janis Joplin, thereby making you the least pop-culturally-aware high schooler in Columbus.

Some parents work for 40 years at the same boring task to pay for a house and food.

Some fathers take you to Europe and present you the magical of travel. They buy you Mad Magazine in German.

They take you to Mad Magazines offices in Manhattan where you meet Dick DiBartolo, Nick Meglin, and Bill Gaines. That could inspire you to be a writer.

They marvel at your new fiction, The Tale of the White Worm , you write when youre twelve. They edit your school essays and, one night, they write an entire research paper about The Crucible for you because youre sick.

Some parents drive you from college to college looking for the right one. Then some fathers go drive you back from the right college each summer because you dont have a car.

Some fathers help you sell your car when you move to Poland for work.

Some fathers come to your bridal in Warsaw.

They Skype you almost every day, leaving cryptic messages and posting connections from Craigslist. Some parents listen to Rush Limbaugh all day because hes a pleasant distraction.

Some parents drive twelve hours to visit you in Brooklyn.

Some parents get grumpy.

Some parents still induce you laugh.

Some fathers get lung cancer.

Some fathers stimulate you scared.

Their failing health fosters you to run again and cease drinking because watching a human who seems so much like you get sick is frightening. But it also encourages you to reconnect with him.

I know: Some fathers beat you. Some parents leave you. Some parents die early. Some fathers are cruel. Some fathers succumb inside.

But some of us get lucky.

Some fathers are great. Some fathers are kind. Some parents train, expand, and elucidate. Some fathers give all.

Some of us get lucky.

Happy Parents Day.

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

My Dads Way Of Dealing With His Midlife Crisis: A Game Of Thrones Inspired Photoshoot

My dad turned 50 this year and he wanted something special. So he organized a trip to Cornwall with my mother, friend, me and 2 of my best friends: a badass photographer, Sheridan’s Art, and an amazing makeup artist: Kika Von Macabre

We came up with a storyline about a landowner 😛 TAGEND

Meet Cornish landlord Goron as he is forced to fight for monarch Mordred against evil forces threatening the kingdom. After fierce combats on the cornish coast, Goron returns as a true hero. Being jealous of his success Mordred sends out Gwenora, a blue witch, to seduce Goron to the dark side, turning him against his own people. Torn between two worlds, Goron ultimately detects the power to confront Gwenora in an ultimate battle.

Will he succeed?

Meet Cornish landlord Goron

He is forced to fight for monarch Mordred against evil forces threatening the kingdom

Prayers for an upcoming war

King Mordred calls

After fierce combats on the cornish coast, Goron returns as a true hero

Being jealous of his success Mordred sends out Gwenora, a blue witch, to seduce Goron to the dark side

She turned him against his own people

Scars of a lost soul

Torn between two worlds, Goron ultimately detects the power to confront Gwenora in an ultimate battle

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

I cant forget the horror of my sons birth | Leah McLaren

Despite medical advancements, childbirth is a major cause of post-traumatic stress ailment and yet nobody talks about it. Leah McLaren tells the harrowing story of the arrival of her second infant and her fight for treatment and support

The seconds that stretch between the act of giving birth and waiting to hear a newborn shout are the most harrowing moments in an otherwise privileged life. My second son, Frank, didnt cry.

Late last summer in a London hospital, he was born semi-conscious. His pulsing was swooning and he was floppy as a rag doll, a pale bluish gray in colouring. There were angry red indents on his nose and skull that would afterwards turn into deep purple bruises. According to his hospital notes his Apgar score at birth( on which 10 is hale and zero is non-responsive) was two. Just before emerging, Frank turned to the left and got stuck in the birth canal no sum of pushing could make him budge. He was wrenched out of me, first ineffectively with a vacuum and then later, definitively, with a pair of giant metal salad tongs called forceps. The midwife briefly placed his limp little body on my chest and then scooped him up again and over to the opposite side of the room where the doctors began their work.

At first, still dazed from the birth, I didnt fully understand what was going on. I recollect guessing how strange it was that for hours on end all the focus had been on my body, and the monumental great efforts to make it do what it was supposed to, and now everything had shifted. It was like Id been split in two and what was left of me the remaining husk seemed almost incidental to the scene.

I heard an alarm roar in the corridor outside our room and I thought, vaguely, that there must be an emergency on this floor. Residents and interns in scrubs began streaming through the door, craning to see the patient our motionless, minutes-old son. Before long there was a standing- room only crowd around the newborn. My spouse squeezed my hand as I processed the silent revelation that emergency situations was us.

Leah
The voice of his shout induced black supposes, a darkening of my already dull mood: Leah with Frank just after his birth. Photograph: Rob Yates

We watched the doctors placing a toy-sized oxygen mask on our sons face and heard them fall silent as their motions became quicker. We scanned their faces for anxiety or relief and saw nothing, only blankness. We waited for the baby shout, but it never came.

Hours afterwards, to our immense relief, we were told Frank was fine. The resident paediatrician made it clear he wasnt concerned or even especially interested in Franks case. He could offer no real rationale for why our son was born flatline( his term) apart from the obvious deduction that hed been knocked out by the grip of the forceps on his head. It happens, the doctor told. We dont know why. He had a touch of jaundice, but there had been no evidence of oxygen deprivation.

By contrast, I was worse for wear. In addition to the forceps, Id had internal and external tearing as well as an episiotomy cut open and sewed back together. As one doctor afterwards set it: Its like a truck drove through your pelvic floor. I was dedicate transfusions for blood loss and paracetamol for the pain, which didnt help much.

When I was ultimately taken up to the neonatal division in a wheelchair and able to hold him, my son was so bashed up he looked like hed been in a bar battle. You should consider the other guy, the nurse joked. You already have, I told. The other guy is me.

This is not the story of a personal tragedy. Im conscious while writing this of the many mothers who have experienced far worse. Pregnancy and childbirth, when it goes wrong, can result in all manner of horrors, including the loss of a child its own experience I cannot pretend to understand.

Instead, this is a story about whats been written out of Britains official birth narration. Franks birth, as described, would be classified in our maternity system as a success. For a system that prides itself on being female-centred, the NHS maternity care system is failing post-natal women. Not only has the physical and mental health of new mothers become secondary, it sometimes seems inconsequential. This is the untold story of the suffering our maternity care system ignores.

Its difficult to admit this now, eight months after Franks birth, but in those first weeks I did not feel the exhilaration that comes with a newborn. I cared for my son dutifully, feeding, bathing, burping, swaddling, soothing him through the night, but much of the time I felt weirdly detached, like a zombie shuffling through the motions.

The sound of his shout induced black supposes, a darkening of my already dull mood. I recollect looking at him and registering the fact he was beautiful, but being unable separate his body from the horror of his birth. I preoccupied over the idea that something was wrong with him, that hed been deprived of oxygen and the doctors had concealed it from me. I took him to see the community midwife twice because I was persuaded his eyes were traversed. When I demanded to know if the midwife thought he looked like he had brain damage she looked at me oddly.

In those first few weeks I had flashbacks every day. Id be standing in the queue at Sainsburys and abruptly Id be back in the madness of the delivery room, blood pooling on the floor beneath my bed wondering if my newborn was dead. I ruminated over the details of what happened for weeks, unable to think about little else. Some days I told the story to anyone who would listen; others I could scarcely speak at all. Eventually I went to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with trauma. Not post-partum depression she was very clear on this phase but post-traumatic stress, as a result of the physical and emotional ordeal of Franks birth.

Physically I was also fighting. As Frank grew bigger and bonnier, illuminating up the world with his first gummy smilings, I wasnt bouncing back. Every hour I determined myself alone in the room with a doctor, health visitor or community midwife Id demand they analyse me to determine whether or not I was healing properly. Again and again I was told everything appeared fine the stitches had healed and I was given the all clear for workout, for sexuality, for life. But something was amiss.

Like many new mothers I was suffering from stress incontinence( urinating when I coughed or sneezed) and a weakened pelvic floor, but there was something else. A strange drag sensation, a heaviness that wouldnt abate. I described these symptoms over and over and was ignored by health professionals until one day, over a cup of tea, a girlfriend suggested I might be suffering from a pelvic organ prolapse. The next day I booked an appointment with my GP who referred me to a gynaecologist who confirmed that, indeed, I had a moderate-to-severe occurrence of a condition called cystocele, otherwise known as a prolapse of the bladder. What this entails is that my vaginal wall was so badly injury giving birth that my bladder was spilling out into my vagina. The best course of treatment, he told me, was corrective surgery. Its something I cant have until Im three months clear of breastfeeding, which is some months away yet. In the meantime Ive been prescribed a course of post-natal physiotherapy, which involves performing pelvic floor exercises under the supervision of a doctor and having vibrating wands shoved up my nether regions in order to reverse tissue damage.

This is not as fun as it sounds.

In spite of all this, Im one of the lucky ones. Most women who experience birth injury and trauma never get properly diagnosed or treated. Its hard even to get any one to recognise there might be a problem. My spouse, astounded there was no routine follow up for me after such a traumatic birth, tracked down the obstetrician whod delivered Frank to seek guidance from her. She did not respond. We found out afterwards this sort of contact is not promoted; no comment or advice could be offered. A hospital collectively delivers.

The Birth Trauma Association, a peer-to-peer supporting group, estimates that 10,000 women in Britain are treated for post-traumatic stress ailment as a result of birth each year. Thats the largest single cohort of PTSD sufferers in the country. They estimate as many as 200,000 more women may feel traumatised by childbirth and develop untreated symptoms of PTSD.

On the physical injury side, the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology in 2015 found that 24% of women still experience pain during sexuality 18 months after giving birth. The same year researchers from the University of Michigan devoted 68 women MRIs seven weeks after having newborns. Of the admittedly small sample, they discovered 29% had fractures in their pubic bones, which all of them were unaware of, and 41% had tearing and severe damage to their pelvic floor muscles that had remained undiagnosed. Another recent US study, published in the publication PLOS One , determined 77% of mothers still suffered from back pain and 49% experienced urinary incontinence a year after having their babies.

Its obvious that childbirth is deeply traumatic for many women minds and bodies. Simply over a century ago almost 7% of pregnant women in England and Wales died as a result of it. But birth is much safer now so why are so many women still suffering its after-effects undiagnosed and untreated?

Part of the reason is that the conversation around birth trauma and injury is steeped in shame and institutional sexism. Im not just talking about the general prudishness surrounding women reproductive health issues. There is a prevailing attitude I encountered among many health professionals which is that new mothers should basically learn to suck it up. As one GP said to me in semi-exasperation: Youve had two children. Your body changed. You cant expect to feel the same as you did before.

Rebecca Schiller, chair of BirthRights, an organisation that seeks to promote human rights in childbirth, told me that institutional denial of status of women experience is a huge problem, especially when it comes to post-natal care. There is a general attitude of Your experience doesnt matter, all that matters is a healthy newborn. When, of course, the two are inextricably related.

Part of the problem, I have come to believe, is that pregnant women are not properly informed of health risks of birth trauma and injury in advance.

With my first pregnancy I was determined to have an all-natural, drug-free, at-home water birth. I rented birth certificates pond at the recommend of my NHS homebirth midwife and when labour began I ran around the house illuminating scented candles. But seven hours in, when my newborn turned out to be an undetected breech, I was rushed to hospital in a wailing ambulance. Once it was determined my son would be born via emergency caesarean, a doctor talked me through all the risks in advance and asked me to sign a surgical waiver. And yet, with my second son, when I waived my right to an elective C-section and opted instead for a normal birth, I was assured by several midwives that opting for a VBAC( vaginal birth after caesarean) was the safer, better option and would result in an easier recovery than a surgical birth.

As I found out afterwards, women in my age group( 40 )~ ATAGEND, especially those who have had a previous C-section, have much higher rates of assisted births and assisted births often lead to injury and trauma. The NHS and the NCT have very little to say on birth trauma. There are no birth trauma or injury counselling services and after care, as I found out, is difficult to come by. There are private alternatives( like my psychiatrist ), but there are private options for everything if you can afford it.

Eight-month-old
Your experience doesnt matter; all that matters is a healthy newborn: a bonny Frank. Photograph: Phil Fisk for the Observer

To get state-funded care, you have to fight for it, which many birth-injured and traumatised new mothers are in no nation to do. Complicating matters further is the issue of post-partum depression. Just look at the postnatal chat groups online and you will find women frustrated at being told they simply have a hormonally induced occurrence of baby blues when what theyre actually feeling is a normal reaction to a profoundly distressing experience. Diagnosing a birth-injured or traumatised mother with post-partum depression is the healthcare equivalent of asking a justifiably irate female if perhaps, only perhaps, shes about to get her period? And yet it happens all the time.

There is a reasonable rationale for this apparent nation of institutional denial. Birth trauma and injury conflict with the NHSs dominant maternity care ethos, that natural births are safer and more empowering for women. This despite the fact that the UK has one of the highest infant morality rates in western Europe and, according to the NHS litigation authority, pays out hundreds of millions in maternity negligence claims each year.

As the NHS continues to pay scant attention to the issue, rates of birth injury and trauma continue to rise, due to a confluence of factors including ageing mothers, obesity and larger newborns. But why isnt more attention paid to the routine psychological and physical damage endured by so many post-natal female?

This is a question Maureen Treadwell, chair of the Birth Trauma Association, has been asking for nearly two decades. She founded her organisation in response to the number of women she knew whod been refused pain relief during labour and aimed up traumatised by the experience. If a human underwent dental surgery having prayed for anaesthetic and not received any, marriage recommend therapy yet if the same thing happens to a woman we tell her shes a good girl, well done. Its madness, she said.

According to Treadwell, birth trauma is exacerbated by a culture that celebrates only one various kinds of birth. The system, as well as the dominant culture, fills women with false expectations. It deludes women into thinking that birth ought to be this wonderful, empowering experience and when it isnt women feel awfully ashamed.

Last year when Jamie and Jools Oliver had their fifth infant, Oliver tweeted about his wifes unbelievably composed natural birth. It sounds ridiculous, but I wept reading that tweet. New mothers are deeply susceptible to guilt and it often begins with not having performed birth in the circumscribe way.

Eight months on, Frank and I are muddling along in an exhausted nation of contentment. The trauma of his birth is fading, superseded each happen day with the marvellous reality of him. My body is now the body of a mom battle-worn, cosy and intimidate in its accomplishments. I am grateful for my boys and for the fact that I got help for a condition many mothers experience but for which few ever try acknowledgement, let alone treatment.

Like I told, Im one of the lucky ones.

Curated from: http :// www.theguardian.com/ us

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My Dads Way Of Dealing With His Midlife Crisis: A Game Of Thrones Inspired Photoshoot

My dad turned 50 this year and he wanted something special. So he coordinated a journey to Cornwall with my mother, friend, me and 2 of my best friends: a badass photographer, Sheridans Art, and an amazing makeup artist: Kika Von Macabre

We came up with a storyline about a landowner 😛 TAGEND

Meet Cornish landlord Goron as he is forced to fight for king Mordred against evil forces-out threatening the kingdom. After fierce battles on the cornish coast, Goron returns as a true hero. Being jealous of his success Mordred sends out Gwenora, a blue witch, to seduce Goron to the dark side, turning him against his own people. Torn between two worlds, Goron ultimately observes the power to confront Gwenora in an ultimate battle.

Will he succeed?

Meet Cornish landlord Goron

He is forced to fight for king Mordred against evil forces-out threatening the kingdom

Prayers for an upcoming war

King Mordred calls

After fierce battles on the cornish coast, Goron returns as a true hero

Being jealous of his success Mordred sends out Gwenora, a blue witch, to seduce Goron to the dark side

She turned him against his own people

Scars of a lost soul

Torn between two worlds, Goron ultimately observes the power to confront Gwenora in an ultimate battle

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

Amazon will refund millions of unauthorized in-app purchases made by kids

Amazon will refund millions of unauthorized in-app purchases kids made on mobile devices, having now dropped its appeal oflast years rulingby a federal judge who sided with the Federal Trade Commission in the agencys lawsuit against Amazon. The FTCs original complaint said that Amazon should be liable for millions of dollars it charged customers, because of the way its Appstore software was designed that is, it allowed kids to spend unlimited amounts of money in games and other apps without requiring parental consent.

TheFTC had previously settled with both Apple and Google on similar charges, before turning its sights to Amazon.

The issue had to do with the way the Amazon Appstores in-app purchasing system worked. The AmazonAppstore is the store that comes preloaded on Amazon mobile devices, like Kindle Fire tablets, for example, though there is a way to load it onto other Android devices, too.

Of course,many kids game developers notoriously try to blur the lines between whats free and paid. They also often design games in a way that they only fully functionwhen kids usein-game items, which can be sometimes earned through gameplay or other times purchased through the app itself. Kids are pushed to buy these things regularly as any parent can tell you, having experienced their kids begging for these items.

But in Amazons Appstore, which launched back in 2011, the company didnt originally require passwords on in-app purchases. This allowed kids to buy coins and other items to their hearts content. One particularly awful example involved a game called Ice Age Village that offered an in-app purchase of $99.99.

Amazon introduced password-protected in-app purchases in March 2012, but then only on those where the purchase exceeded $20. In early 2013, it updated the system again to require passwords, but also allowed a 15-minute window afterwards where no password was required. The FTC said Amazon didnt obtain informed consent until July 2014.

 

To make matters worse, parents complaining werent told how to get a refund and Amazon had even suggested at times that refunds werent possible, the FTCs complaint had said.

Amazon and the FTC have now agreed to end appeals related to the earlier ruling, the FTC announced on Tuesday, April 4. Another issue that had come into play was the FTCs request for an injunction to forbid Amazon from similar conduct in the future. The court denied that injunction, the FTC appealed, and Amazon cross-appealed the ruling that said Amazon had violated the law.

Now the two parties have agreed to end their litigation and begin the refund process.

More than $70 million in in-app charges made between November 2011 and May 2016 may be eligible for refunds, the FTC notes. Its not likely that all affected customers will take the time to make their requests, however.

Amazon has not yet announced how the refund program will operate or when it launches but these details are to come shortly, says the FTC.

Curated from: https://techcrunch.com

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