Please read this before you post another RIP on social media.

Grieving in the technology age is uncharted territory.

Ill take you back to Saturday, June 9, 2012. At 8: 20 a.m ., my 36 -year-old husband was pronounced dead at a hospital just outside Washington , D.C.

By 9:20 a.m ., my cellphone would not stop ringing or text-alerting me long enough for me to construct the necessary calls that I needed to construct: people like immediate family, primary-care physicians to discuss demise certificates and autopsies, funeral homes to discuss picking him up, and so on. Real things, important things, time-sensitive, urgent things.

a system or organisation in which people or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or authority, and

an arrangement or classification of things according to relative importance or inclusiveness.

8 couples who combined last names and the amazing reasons they did it.

Brangelina. Kimye. “Combined names” are a key step in becoming a celebrity “it” couple. But regular people all over the U.S. are doing the same thing. And making it legal.

I lately read about the phenomenon of married couples legally taking a smushed-together or otherwise completely invented version of their last names. Smith and Johnson become the Smithsons, for example. I started asking around: Had anyone else is aware of this ?

Turns out, a ton of people had. Almost everyone I asked knew a couple who had done it officially, done it unofficially, or at least thought about it.

It might sound various kinds of odd, but there are a lot of great reasons modern couples choose to do something like this everything from gender equality( FTW !) to dedicating the children a fresh household identity to make their own.

Here are eight forward-thinking, creative, and diverse couples who chose to use a combined name, and why they did it .

1. Carla Cole+ Brian Martin= the Latimers

Photo by Carla Latimer, used in conjunction with permission.

These two turned to an unlikely tool when they decided to combine names: an anagram generator .

“We wanted a family name to share with the children, ” Carla tells. She says they virtually had guests at their bridal vote on their top five favorite names. Instead, they wound up choice on their own.

“We fell our middle birth names, moved our maiden names to our middle names, and added the new last name, ” she says.

And lived happily ever after.

2. Blair Eckenrode+ Megan Christensen= the Eckensens

Photo by Shawnee/ A Lovely Photo, used in conjunction with permission

When Eckenrode and Christensen got married, they had some understandably complicated feelings about the institution.

Questioning the long upheld standards of marriage dedicated the couple a lot of liberty to define their own union how they saw fit. The first thing to run? The historic coverture statutes that originated today’s commonplace tradition of a woman relinquishing a part of her identity, her name, and assuming her husband’s.

“We are a family, and we share every part of our lives with each other, and we also desired to share a name, ” Blair says. “So we got creative and here we are a nontraditionally created name for a ‘nontraditional’ marriage.”

3. Sally and Ryan Stauffer= the Elainskas

Photo via Sally Elainska, used with permission

When these two first got married, they did what Sally calls “the normal thing, ” and went with her husband’s last name of Stauffer. A few years later, Ryan had a confession to make he wished they’d gone another route.

“In the end we decided to combine Gaelic to represent his ancestry and Polish to represent mine, ” Sally says. They chose words that loosely translated to “people of art, ” plus a few tweaks to make it easy to spell and pronounce, and abruptly they were the Elainskas.

Their households have had mixed reactions, Sally tells, but there’s only one thing that really matters: “I couldn’t be happier with government decisions and with my perfect partner! “

4. Sonia Abrams+ Stephen Moss= the Abramoss kids

Photo via Sonia Abrams, used in conjunction with permission.

When these two tied the knot, they both concurred it’d be best to keep their own last names. The kids? That was a different story.

“We both felt a little weird about not having a little bit of[ both] our names in our kid, ” Sonia tells. That’s when they got the idea to combination, and Abramoss simply felt like a winning combination.

“My dad did not like it at all, but I think he got over it, ” she tells. “It feels neat to have our kid’s’ names be a combo of ours, since our children are a perfect combo of the two of us.”

5. Beth Shea+ John Marshall= the Marsheas

Photo via Beth Marshea, used in conjunction with permission.

Beth does not mince words how she feels about kids and last names: “We never considered devoting the kids his last name because he is not the one who devotes birth to them.”

They considered hyphenating, but chose against it. John even offered to ditch his own last name, but Beth fretted he’d regret it later.

“So, we came up with the portmanteau idea as the best alternative, ” she says, though there are times when she misses the old ‘Shea family’ identity. “But, it’s nice that we have our own thing, so I’m happy with it.”

6. Sara Kunitake+ Jonah Horowitz= the Horotakes

Photo from Jonah Horotake, used with permission.

“Sara has a very strong attachment to her family name. Shes the last Kunitake grandchild, and she hesitated to give the name up, ” Jonah says. “Also, she has invested a lot in building her brand professionally as Sara Kunitake and didnt want to have to rebuild as Sara Horowitz.”

So they merged to become the Horotakes. “We really like the voice of it and it merges our Japanese and Jewish heritage.”

7. Jesse Rauch+ Lissa McManus= the McRauchs

Photo via Jesse McRauch, used in conjunction with permission.

Feminism has been an important thread throughout Jesse and Lissa’s relationship.

“As our relations deepened, I felt it was important to be completely equal in our relationship, ” Jesse tells. “We both wear engagement rings. I didn’t get on one knee so we appeared one another in the eye.”

Jesse tells most people are truly supportive, or even jealous they didn’t think of it, but his parents keep asking, ‘Are you really doing that? “

“They may need more period, ” he says.

8. Ash Russell+ Crystal Fields= the Rocketships

Photo from Ash Rocketship, used with permission

That’s right. Meet Mrs. and Mrs. Rocketship.

Ash tells the couple talked a lot about “how neither of us were really attached to our family name and how it would be nice to share a name once we were married.”

Her alternative? Pick something random, but meaningful. It got the couple talking about their shared love of outer space.

“We joked about Lightyear, after Buzz, and then one of us likely me because I am nothing if not overjoyed at being obnoxious told, ‘We should just picking something random … like, rocketship.’ And it only stuck . “

From there, the paperwork was a breeze, and the Rocketships became the coolest household in the solar system.

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

YouTube’s CEO blasts that sexist Google memo in a powerful, deeply personal essay.

Mom, is it true that there are biological reasons set out above there are fewer women in tech and leadership?

Of all the people to field that question, it’s somewhat sobering that Susan Wojcicki the CEO of YouTube would be asked it by her own daughter.

“As my child asked me the question Id long sought to overcome in my own life, I thought about how tragic it was that this unfounded bias was now being exposed to a new generation, ” Wojcicki wrote in a powerful and profoundly personal new essay is issued by Fortune.

Photo by Kimberly White/ Getty Images for Vanity Fair.

Her daughter’s topic was prompted by a leaked internal memo written by an engineer at Google, which owns YouTube.

In case you literally missed the memoranda: James Damore, a former senior software engineer in Googles search division, sent out a jaw-droppingly offensive analysis to his co-workers falsely asserting that there are biological explanations that justify a lack of female representation in tech fields.

With the memo, Damore was intending to curb bias among his colleagues that, in his opinion, unfairly attributed too much of the gender gap in tech to social factors( like sexism and implicit bias ). The problem is, the gap exists solely because of those types of factors not biological ones. His memo, which triggered annoyances and rage among Google employees, eventually leaked to the press. Damore was fired on Monday.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/ Getty Images.

Not merely was the memoranda painfully inaccurate in explaining how biological differences between men and women supposedly justify the gender gap in tech, the committee is also did very little in pointing out the systemic hurdles and implicit biases that actually prevent women from excelling in the industry.

The memo was especially appalling to girls like Wojcicki, who’s spent much of her adult life overcoming very real ( aka , utterly not biologically based) obstacles and biases against women in tech.

As Wojcicki wrote in her essay( emphasis added ):

“Ive had my abilities and commitment to my job questioned. Ive been left out of key industry events and social gatherings. Ive had meetings with external leaders where they mainly addressed the more junior male colleagues. Ive had my remarks frequently interrupted and my ideas ignored until they were rephrased by humen. No matter how often this all happened, it still hurt .

Photo by Scott Olson/ Getty Images.

In her essay, Wojcicki also spelled out why Damore’s firing isn’t a matter of free speech, as some have argued. “While people may have a right to express their beliefs in public, that does not mean companies cannot take action when women are subjected to comments that perpetuate negative stereotypes about them based on their gender, ” Wojcicki noted, calling discrimination of all kinds against all groups of people inexcusable.

“What if we replaced the word ‘women’ in the memoranda with another group? ” she wrote. “What if the memo said that biological differences amongst Black, Hispanic, or LGBTQ employees explained their underrepresentation in tech and leadership roles? … I dont ask this to compare one group to another, but rather to point out that the language of discrimination can take many different forms and none are acceptable or productive.”

For Wojcicki, this issue isn’t just personal to her it’s one that’s shaping how her own child sees herself and her future.

So it stimulates sense that the YouTube CEO gave her daughter an answer that cuts straight to the truth.

“Do differences in biology explain the tech gender gap? ”

“No, ” Wojcicki told her daughter. “Its not true.”

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

YouTube’s CEO blasts that sexist Google memo in powerful, deeply personal essay.

Mom, is it true that there are biological reasons why there are fewer women in tech and leadership?

Of all the people to field that topic, it’s somewhat sobering that Susan Wojcicki the CEO of YouTube would be asked it by her own daughter.

“As my child asked me the question Id long sought to overcome in my own life, I thought about how tragic it was that this unfounded bias was now being exposed to a new generation, ” Wojcicki wrote in a powerful and profoundly personal new essay published by Fortune.

Photo by Kimberly White/ Getty Images for Vanity Fair.

Her daughter’s topic was prompted by a leaked internal memoranda written by an technologist at Google, which owns YouTube.

In case you literally missed the memo: James Damore, a former senior software engineer in Googles search division, sent out a jaw-droppingly offensive analysis to his co-workers falsely asserting that there are biological justifications that justify a lack of female representation in tech fields.

With the memoranda, Damore was intending to curb bias among his colleagues that, in his opinion, unfairly attributed too much of the gender gap in tech to social factors( like sexism and implicit bias ). The problem is, the gap exists exclusively because of those types of factors not biological ones. His memoranda, which sparked frustrations and anger among Google employees, eventually leaked to the press. Damore was fired on Monday.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/ Getty Images.

Not only was the memo painfully inaccurate in explaining how biological differences between men and women supposedly justify the gender gap in tech, it also did very little in pointing out the systemic roadblocks and implicit biases that actually prevent women from excelling in the industry.

The memo was especially appalling to females like Wojcicki, who’s spent much of her adult life overcoming very real ( aka , utterly not biologically based) barriers and biases against women in tech.

As Wojcicki wrote in her essay( emphasis added ):

“Ive had my abilities and commitment to my job questioned. Ive been left out of key industry events and social gatherings. Ive had meetings with external leaders where they chiefly addressed the more junior male colleagues. Ive had my commentaries often interrupted and my ideas ignored until they were rephrased by humen. No matter how often this all happened, it still hurt .

Photo by Scott Olson/ Getty Images.

In her essay, Wojcicki also spelled out why Damore’s firing isn’t a matter of free speech, as some have argued. “While people may have a right to express their beliefs in public, that does not mean companies cannot take action when women are subjected to comments that perpetuate negative stereotypes about them based on their gender, ” Wojcicki noted, calling discrimination of all kinds against all groups of people inexcusable.

“What if we replaced the word ‘women’ in the memo with another group? ” she wrote. “What if the memoranda said that biological differences amongst Black, Hispanic, or LGBTQ employees explained their underrepresentation in tech and leadership roles? … I dont ask this to compare one group to another, but instead to point out that the language of discrimination can take many different forms and none are acceptable or productive.”

For Wojcicki, this issue isn’t simply personal to her it’s one that’s shaping how her own child insures herself and her future.

So it attains sense that the YouTube CEO gave her daughter an answer that cuts straight to the truth.

“Do differences in biology explain the tech gender gap? ”

“No, ” Wojcicki told her daughter. “Its not true.”

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

My husband was leading a double life. How I fell apart, then found strength.

A few weeks after giving birth to my first baby, I was wracked with ache to the point that I could scarcely move.

Swinging my legs, one after another, out of bed took nearly all my willpower. This ache had nothing to do with the physical stress of childbirth or the sews still holding my swollen private area together.

This pain came from a place so deep within me that I could not identify where the ache objective and I began . We were intertwined. It was all-consuming.

It felt as if half of my DNA had been rent out of my body and I was left with a hang half-strand.

Until that moment, I hadn’t realized that my husband had become a part of me . Now, in his absence, I felt an emptiness where he had been. I knew I would never be whole again.

In Wired to Make: Unraveling the Mystery of the Creative Mind, psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman and writer Carolyn Gregoire explore what happens in the aftermath of a traumatic event 😛 TAGEND

The more we are shaken, the more we must let go of our former egoes and hypothesis, and begin again from the ground up. … Rebuilding can be an incredibly challenging process . … It can be grueling, excruciating, and exhausting. But it can open the door to a new life .

I know that door.

I found out my husband was leading a double life almost immediately after I gave birth to my daughter.

There was another girlfriend, and a secret credit card. Then other women started to come forward .

I was suddenly on my own with a newborn baby. I grieved him, and the future I thought we would have together, like a death.

Photo from me, used in conjunction with permission.

While these have been without a doubt the most difficult months of my life, t here was also something unbelievably freeing in being ripped to shreds and then rebuilding myself piece by piece .

I told my therapist that everything seemed somehow clearer. I feel like the human interactions I do have are very genuine now. I used to build various kinds of superficial small talk a lot, and I dont do that anymore. I cant actually explain it. I just feel like I find people now.

She told him that these moments of lucidity are create possible precisely because you no longer have room for a lot of the crap you used to expend so much time thinking about. You are stripped clean.

Youve always possessed this power. Maybe you only never knew how to access it.

Before experiencing trauma, I cared very much what people thought of me, from close family and friends to strangers . I had trouble making decisions because I wanted to please everyone. Even navigating a grocery store could be stressful all those strangers silently observing and judging me.

Then, for months, I was trapped in my own body, forced to sit in the ache. Let me be clear. When I tell sit in the pain I mean not running into someone elses limbs , not getting sloshed every night, and not concealing behind run.

Being trapped in my body meant that I couldnt run from the darkness or try to do whatever it took to feel good again.

We humen naturally try to avoid impressions of discomfort especially today, when instant gratification is simply a click away on social media or a swipe away on an online dating app, when endorphins can be produced and manipulated simply by picking up an iPhone. People are even less likely to be still. To simply feel.

But as I sat in my ache, I slowly started to trust my own intuition . I became grounded in a very clear sense of ego.

When you begin to truly trust and like yourself, you tap into an immense sum of power.

Photo by me, used with permission.

Youve always possessed this power. Maybe you only never knew how to access it. You find a power within yourself thats like an anchor, freeing you from a lot of lifes insecurities that seemed so important before.

Dr. Sharon Dekel tells, Post-traumatic growth can be defined as a workable coping mechanism, a style of making and detecting entailing involved in the building of a more positive self-image and the perception of personal strength.”

The other side of pain is not comfort, or health, or well-being. It is truth.

When this truth comes pouring in, you begin to see all the grimy layers of protection lift away, and you discover that your journey has just begun. You begin to let the illumination in and, whats more, you begin to seek out the lighting.

One morning I woke up and had a sudden realization. The gues entered my intellect like a lightning bolt:

You were always whole to begin with.

So as much as I sometimes want to shriek and fury at my ex-husband, I also want to thank him. I want to thank him for forcing me to become the person I was always meant to be, for showing me that I am a fighter and that I will never give up.

But most importantly, I thank him for allowing me to become this person before my daughter ever knew anyone else .

You can read more about Jen’s journey in her memoir “A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal.”

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

We asked 3 Airbnb hosts how they felt about the company banning white supremacists.

Airbnb’s decision to issue lifetime prohibitions to users planning to attend a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, on Saturday is winning the company plenty of fans locally.

The move, which depicted immediate contempts from the rally’s organizers and “alt-right” sympathizers earned praise from residents who share their homes on the service.

In conversations with half-a-dozen Airbnb hosts in the Charlottesville area , none said they’d been contacted by members of the rally group, though most said they were alleviated that the company was taking steps to ban them. A rally in May, led by writer Richard Spencer, depicted over 100 torch-bearing white nationalist activists to the community. A July Ku Klux Klan rally to protest the removal of a Robert E. Lee statue ended when local police intervened to break up conflicts between rally-goers and counter-protesters.

“Most of us are on edge because the potential for violence is so great, ” tells Aly B. Snider, who operates two Airbnb listings, including a tiny house and a bungalow close to downtown. “Many don’t understand why a detest group was given a permit.”

City officials expect 400 people at the demonstration, according to the document, though local police have indicated they’re preparing for up to 4,000, including counter-protesters.

Snider says that she’s grateful the company supports her in refusing to rent to those who want to “come into[ the] community and cause problems, ” though she and others were careful to note they support the group’s right to free speech.

Attendees at a July KKK rally in Charlottesville. Photo by Chet Strange/ Getty Images.

Airbnb host Marybeth, who hadn’t heard about the ban, agrees that while AirBnB has the right to ban whoever it wants, the protesters “have the right to peacefully assemble and say things that might offend others.” She rejects the group as a “vocal minority” and feels most of the coverage of the upcoming rally is overblown.

Airbnb lately faced criticism from users for failing to adequately respond to the discriminatory booking practises of some hosts.

A study conducted by three Harvard Business School researchers, published in April, found that potential renters with “black-sounding” names were 16% less likely to be approved for certain reservations than identical guests whose names appeared white.

The company hired a director of diversity in 2016 to supervise efforts to review hiring the room-sharing service’s faculty, like many in tech, is predominately white and to help develop measures to prevent booking bias.

Photo by Lionel Bonaventure/ Getty Images.

Last month, the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing fined a host who rejected an Asian guest with a racially-tinged comment, under a recent agreement with Airbnb that permits the agency to pursue such complaints.

Jason Lappa, a Charlottesville photographer who rents out his upstairs apartment on Airbnb, “fully[ supports] the ban, ” which he attributes to the company’s is committed to “community and inclusiveness.”

In his view, the white supremacist protesters are simply desperate for attention. “This is their 15 minutes, ” he says.

Lappa attended and photographed the counter-protest of the July KKK rally and left with a face full of tear gas after police intervened.

Nevertheless, he says, the brief scuffle failed to rattle the tight-knit community of Charlottesville, which ricochetted back to normal the following day.

“Nothing was different, people of all backgrounds and colors were doing what they always do, getting coffee, laughing with friends, eating great food, and ultimately, the Klan’s presence had a zero sum effect, ” he says.

He believes Saturday’s rally will be “more of the same.”

Regardless of how the alt-rightists choose to send their message, they for sure won’t be crashing at Lappa’s place soon or ever.

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

This mom’s viral post perfectly explains the importance of having mom friends.

It’s a common scenario for too many new parents, usually moms:

The baby is here. Yay!

Those first couple of weeks are a magical whirlwind. It’s hard, but exciting as you start to become a new kind of family.

But pretty soon, monotony sets in: feed the baby, change the baby, put the baby down, try to clean up or catch up on sleep (never both), repeat.

Visitors come and go, but mostly the days can be lonely. Repetitive. The same.

One mom recently opened up on Facebook about having a hard time with the transition, and about the “mom friends” she didn’t know she needed.

Or “mummy friends” as she calls them.

Gylisa Jayne explains in the now viral post that she never wanted to be in a mom clique, sitting around talking about brands of diapers and the hottest educational toys for babies. It all just seemed so … clich.

But being a mom turned out to be harder than she thought, and despite her husband’s best efforts, Jayne longed for someone who understood exactly what she was going through a little better:

“The ones that had been there, done that. The ones that were fumbling through for the first time just like me. … The ones proving you didn’t need to lose yourself along the way. That you’ll find a new you as you go.

The ones who needed me just as much as I needed them.

I made them laugh, and they made me howl with our observations of this bizarrely fabulous and horrendous journey.

There was no clique, just women loving women despite what you might have heard.

I had love left over for my partner again then. Because he might not get it but there were scores of women that did.

So I didn’t want ‘Mummy Friends’…

I needed them.”

Here’s the full post:

I never wanted ‘ Mummy Friends’.

I didn’t want to sit in noisy soft plays, or talk about different coloured shit.

I…

Posted by Gylisa Jayne onMonday, July 31, 2017

More than half a million American women will suffer from postpartum depression this year.

That’s an extremely conservative estimate, with so many more new moms not reporting symptoms or merely not recognizing them. Even putting aside medical diagnoses, being a new parent is just damn hard, and we all need a little help getting through it.

Jayne writes that anyone looking to grow their support group should be open to meeting new friends online.

“My first ‘ mum group’ experience was actually all online through Facebook,” she writes in a message. “We are going to meet for the first time this year, and they were the ones that were there through all the early days. Without those ladies I don’t know how I’d have coped.”

She adds that dads, of course, need support too.

“It’s a massive taboo for men to even talk about their struggles and even more so in fatherhood,” she says. But that shouldn’t stop them.

So get out there, new parents, and find someone who gets what you’re going through. Just because you have someone else to take care of now doesn’t mean you should stop taking care of yourself.

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

If you have your heart set on a puppy, this older beagle might just change your mind.

The moment we satisfied Odie, we knew he was the dog for us.

In fact, I fell in love with this sweet little beagle as soon as he laid his head on my lap and looked at me with his big, brown eyes.

Odie at the Broadway Barks adoption event. All images by Simone Scully/ Upworthy.

My husband and I had “was talkin about a” adopting a puppy for almost as long as we had known each other. But after nearly six years of talking about it, we finally decided it was time to bring one home. Still, we hadnt actually expected to find one so quickly but there he was at New Yorks Broadway Barks pet adoption event. And we are genuinely never expected that the dog we picked would be an older, former medical research beagle.

In fact, we had assumed that we would bring home a young puppy maybe even a puppy. But out of all the adoptable dogs that we satisfied that day, from goofy bulldogs to beautiful cocker spaniels to excitable puppies of all colourings and sizes , none of them felt perfectly right to us.

Odie was the one and we both knew it immediately.

We adopted Odie from the BeFreegle Foundation, an organization that rescues and rehabilitates former research dogs. He came home with us one month before his seventh birthday.

Odie on his seventh birthday.

While it varies depending on breed or size, dogs over age 7 are often considered “senior” because at this age, they can begin to show signs of aging. Plus, given Odies background, it’s possible that he could have a slightly shorter life although because of a nondisclosure agreement signed by his rescuers, we cannot know that for sure.

All we knew when we brought him home was that he had received a clean bill of health from the vet, he was up to date on his inoculations, and, most importantly, he was deemed ready to join our family. We were committed and ready to love him for as long as he would be with us no matter how long that might be .

When we brought Odie home, we were told that he would most likely be a little shy.

After all, lots of things were new for him. He was in a new city with new humans and even things like strolling on a leash or played with playthings were new and foreign to him.

He didn’t know what to do with his toys at first.

But Odie surprised us all with just how quickly he settled into his new life .

Within a week, he had begun to wag his tail when we talked to him, he quickly subdued going up and down the five flights of stairs to our walk-up apartment, he started playing with his favorite squeaky toys, and he became comfortable walking around the block with us on a leash.

Within a month, “were in” comfy taking him to the dog park, where he could fulfill other dogs. And although he liked saying “hello” to the other puppies, he seemed a little ambivalent about actually playing with them, preferring to sit and watch all the others play fetch.

Today, he still doesnt love loud noises especially motorcycles or trucks and he can be a little shy around big groups of new people. But other than that, he’s pretty much a normal dog. He’s silly, he loves treats, and hes very calm around cats, other dogs, or children and he’s well-behaved or, at the least, usually …

I had worried that an older dog might be stubborn when it came to develop, but it turns out that old puppies can learn new tricks.

Odie was eager to respond to commands, especially “up” or “spin, ” when treats were involved.

Odie taking a rest after a long hike.

Adopting an older dog into our household was one of the best decisions we ever made.

While we may not have known Odie since he was a puppy, we get to know him in the best years of their own lives and that has been rewarding.

Odie is going to be 9 this year. But aside from being a little stiff when he wakes up in the morning, hes still very healthy and happy. We feel luck to have him, and it means a lot to know that we have made a good life for him in his older years.

There are lots of older puppies like Odie in shelters all across the country, and some of them end up spending more time in shelters waiting for a home than younger animals. Luckily, there are also lots of shelters and rescue groups that are working hard to get the word out about how great these animals truly are. Plus, they are always looking for fosters or new families that are ready to adopt.

While adopting an older, former research puppy wasn’t what we thought we were looking for, our laid-back pup is perfect for our family.

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

One mom’s tear-jerking story might convince you to say ‘No’ a little less often.

For a lot of mothers, the word ‘no’ is almost a gut reaction.

“Can we get ice cream? ” “No.”

“Can I stay up a little subsequently? “No.”

“Can we put on the ‘Moana’ soundtrack for the 40 th time today? ” “NO! “

It makes total sense. Kids and adolescents are constantly pushing bounds, testing restrictions, and asking for things( some reasonable and some not ).

Usually, as a parent, you have to shut it down.

One mom recently shared a powerful narrative about why though it comes easy to us we shouldn’t always say no without guessing things through.

Rachel Ann Carpenter posted on Facebook sharing the histories of her then-9-year-old daughter Nevaeh … who are seeking to dye her hair pink.

“I initially said no because I know how judgmental people can be when it comes to children with colored hair, ” Carpenter writes in a Facebook message. “I also figured since she was only 9 she had her whole life to change her hair if she wanted! “

So she said it. ‘No.’

But then, Nevaeh had a terrible accident.

“A few weeks later at a camp the latter are doing a demo involving flame and something went wrong and it caught her on fire. She had horrible burns over 70% of her body. This time last year we were in the hospital with her not knowing if she was going to live or not.”

Life is way to short to tell NO all of the time. This time last year she asked me if she could have pink hair and I said…

Posted by Rachel Ann Carpenter onTuesday, July 18, 2017

Nevaeh was luck to survive the flame. And a year later, she asked again if she could dye her hair.

This time, her mama devoted an emphatic “Yes! “

“Just because someone is young does not mean they are promised period, ” Carpenter tells. “I was so glad she was still here to ask me. It is just hair, hair color will fade. Something so simple as coloured hair built her extremely happy.”

The story highlightings a tough question for parents: Are you drawing real, important borders with your children? Or just saying “no” out of fear or habit?

It’s our job to protect our children from danger or grave mistakes that may severely impact “peoples lives”, but we can’t protect them from every scraped knee from operating too fast on the playground nor should we.

Most experts agree that taking hazards, exploring, experimenting with identity, and making blunders are all important parts of growing up. Psychologist Randy Cale tells “Psychologies” mothers should aim to only step in when security is a serious concern or when the consequences of a behavior won’t be instantly apparent to them( like eating ice cream for dinner every single night ).

And beyond all the child psychology, sometimes it’s simply more fun to say “yes.”

“It is so important to let your children live a little, ” Carpenter tells. “As adults it’s easy to forget what it’s like to be a child and how easy it is to make them happy.”

Make sure to visit: CapGeneration.com

This dad perfectly nails fatherhood with his hilarious comics.

Jonathan Jui has hopped around a lot in his life.

He was born in London, raised in Cincinnati, schooled in New England, and be used in Asia, all before gotta go back to London again to settle down with a woman he calls “my middle-school sweetheart.”

The couple dedicated birth to their son, Milo, last year. He’s 18 months old now. Cue the all-too-familiar journey: Nappies. Vomit. Sleep deprivation. Laughter. Joy. Poop. Repeat.

Jui doesn’t have much of an artistic background outside of a little drawing in elementary school, but he wanted to find a way to hold on to the hilarious, painful, and even mundane moments that began to fill his days.

So he started drawing.

Jui generates cartoons to “capture those inopportune moments you don’t want to forget.”

When it’s not a good time to stop and take a image, or used to describe the moment afterward feels forced, Jui depicts it.

All images by Jonathan Jui, used in conjunction with permission.

He began sharing the depicts on Instagram , not really expecting anyone to take notice.

But over the months, his following ballooned by thousands and thousands.

He says he tries to find humor in every situation and express that in his art.

“I want to feel like I’m part of a broader group of people who are suffering to some degree under the weight of parenthood, ” he tells. “It’s just trying to find the silver linings.”

He tackles the obvious: Potty-training gone wrong. The mind-numbing routine. And the sweet little moments that make it all worth it .

In one post, he laments the size and smell of his young son’s bowel movements. In another, Jui pokes fun at his own inability to cook the most basic dishes.

It’s raw and hilarious honesty. No wonder people have responded so strongly.

“I like the fact that it will usually make another person smile or have a nice laughter, ” Jui says of his run. “It constructs you feel like you’re not alone.”

He also says it’s a subtle taste of what’s to come for all his friends and others who don’t have kids yet.

“I genuinely enjoy when people say, ‘This is me right now.'”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to go for, ” he says.

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